User blog:JaphethMario/Crash Bandicoot vs Bubsy Bobcat. Japheth's Fictional Rap Battles
This battle is for the hype of our favorite video game making a comeback. And that's Bubsy: The Woolies Strike back, oh and the relase of Crash Bandicoot N Sanity, but who cares about that Welcome to another intallment of Japheth’s Weird Connection Battles Fictional Rap Battles. It features popular Playstation mascot and Naughty Dog’s creation, Crash Bandicoot against infamous Accolade mascot with a purrsonality, Bubsy Bobcat, to see which 90’s gaming mascot makes the better comeback on 2017, The Second Coming of gaming Jesus, or the return of gaming Hell. Battle BATTLE Bubsy Bobcat Verse: A Kart driver against a Bobcat, don’t Test me, Crash Dummy ‘Cause once this kitten gets fur-ious, you won’t find your op-paw-ment funny I’m the mascot that makes the silent speak, inspiration to their vocal cords But giving this Bandicoot a voice is the only thing that could possibly go wrong (HAA!) Coulda been a genius, a leader, but now you’re a bogan abusing bears Bashing on crates and collecting apples, It’s Wumpa--, Shut up, no one cares This video game calls himself Crash, no wonder why the mustache man always wins Oh you’re threatening me for calling your name stupid? Then just leave Seeing your purr-sonality alone, you’re neither a good thinker nor listener Collected all the Crystals for Cortex, but couldn’t find batteries for his sister You’re playing your level again, so you can gather all the gems But the only box you’ll always miss, is getting next base to your girlfriend Crash Bandicoot Verse: Who puts the ass in mascot? Answer, this Sonic’s Ripper Roo (mate) Who’s not only an insult to 3D, but also a disgrace to the PS Single, too Only 90’s kids regret remembering you, Bubsy got no chance at all Already defeated you mate as soon gamers saw the matchup for this battle Bubster is a complete de-evolution of the platforming genetics You’re VG’s Cool Cat, but more unlikable and design so generic Beaten Cortex more times than you got one hit by those Woolie enemies For Accolade’s mascot, your only honor is putting your buisness deceased Your number two was the only good thing your shit series provides Now that’s a compliment, but your creator says otherwise You and Ty can blow some Steam, but your relevance still haven’t call From what I seen this pantless mate, this pussy doesn’t have any balls Bubsy Bobcat Verse: You act all tough in the mic, but you’re more of a sacredy cat than Tiny Without that Aku Aku slave taking the hit, it’s just one hit for you in the hiney And did you steal those insults from a gamer who‘s not so grump? Hell, without laying a claw,I can put Youtuber’s career in a dump Only Warped back the classic trilogy, ‘cause you’re getting hate for your gimmicks From party pooper games to phone races, all of them are panned by critics Not the first tornado Aussie, you just check out Looney Tunes and bit it Sorry but there’s a new spinner in town, where your hype got beaten by a fucking Fidget Crash Bandicoot Verse: The Jaguar and Bubsy show thats cats aren’t fit on gaming Forgetting passwords, faking rewards, can’t hide that shame, man You got millions of fans (yea--) ironic ones, no need to get your hopes so fast (ah) But you better slow those legs down or you’ll be the one who’ll be named crash I’m packing heat with cannons, got rap bombs like a Nitro Your rating’s the same as your friend list, none, while I got Spyro A terrible pet owner, and apparently someone’s uncle is this psycho How can you fly from the sky, when you couldn’t pass as a pilot Bubsy Bobcat Verse: You tried to take down Plumberboy, but flopped taking that title Never seen Universal’s Mind failed this much since taking down the Kong Titan Put this Naughty-Dog on a leash, where your owner leave you abandon As we all know, Bubsy stole the show, as if Sony put their name in this battle Crash Bandicoot Verse: (Ha!) I beat him both disc and units, why don’t you ask Giana to be a better rip-off While you claim to be the mascots‘rival, yet you squat at their home (crickey) You’re a platformer copycat who couldn’t learn land on his feet Fall damage drop as hard as I spit verse on these beats (woah!) WHO WON WHO WON? Crash Bandicoot Bubsy Bobcat PREVIEW OF THE HOPEFULLY FOR THE NEXT BATTLE An idol determines you to be a hero? More like you rip-off to our witch show You jack off to our Acadamia so much, no wonder your Boku No got confuse for Pico (ew!) |-|Scrapped Lyrics SCRAPPED LYRICS: Crash Bandicoot Verse: ...You’re VG’s Cool Cat, but unlikable, just 105% suck Slow your shit controls down or you’ll be the one litter-ally named crash... ...Copycat other big platformers, but couldn’t land on his feet Can’t tell which drop harder? Fall damage or my sick verse on these beats... ...Well just like that Tynasmin Tiger, your relevance haven’t call... Bubsy Bobcat Verse: ...When it comes tornados Aussies, you just check out Looney Tunes and bit it You’re a spinning mascot that got his 2017 ass beaten by a fucking Fidget... ...I’ll make hurt, bro, more than Slippery Climb or a bridge filled with turtles Looks like a Ty isn’t the only mascot who’ll leave Crash Bandicoot Purple... ...Didn’t gather a Gem for this stage, cause there’s only one problem, Crash From the great 28 bars you spat, you missed one about me in the Jaguar box... |-|Rap Meaning RAP MEANING: Bubsy Bobcat Verse: A Kart driver against a Bobcat, don’t Test me, Crash Dummy (A Bobcat is a species of cats (duh) which shares the same name as the manufacture company known for it’s compacting excavator loaders, etc. while Crash is merely just a driver to a vulnerable racing kart. Bubsy calls Crash stupid by referencing Crash Test Dummy which are commonly used in cars) ‘Cause once this kitten gets fur-ious, you won’t find your op-paw-ment funny (Continue the last statement, when Bubsy gets aggressive he won’t become the same funny attitude Bubsy we all love to hate. Also PUNS!) I’m the mascot that makes the silent speak, inspiration to their vocal cords (Bubsy was the first gaming mascot to been voice in a video games) But giving this Bandicoot a voice is the only thing that could possibly go wrong (HAA!) (However, Bubsy didn’t like Crash Bandicoot’s voice referencing the infamous Crash Bandicoot: Cortex Strike Back commercial even saying “Haa!“ at the end. “What could possibly go wrong?” is Bubsy’s popular and infamous quote) Coulda been a genius, a leader, but now you’re a bogan abusing bears (In the first game, Crash Bandicoot was one of many imprisoned animals of Dr. Neo Cortex. He was originally going to be smart by being brainwashed using the Cortex Vortex, however the Vortex doesn’t compute to Crash Bandicoot ends up failed and rejected. Bogan is is a derogatory Australian and New Zealand slang word used to describe a person whose speech, clothing, attitude and behavior exemplify values and behavior considered unrefined or unsophisticated.. The Abusing Bears line reference on some levels on Crash Bandicoot Cortex Strike Back, where Crash uses Polar against is his own will, in some stages) Bashing on crates and collecting apples, It’s Wumpa--, Shut up, no one cares (It’s known in the Crash games that you destroy boxes and gather fruits. Crash Bandicoot however tries to correct Bubsy that those apples he called are actually Wumpa Fruits. This is reference on how the Crash gets trigger by calling Wumpa Fruits, apples, peaches, mangoes, etc. Bubsy simply doesn’t care) This video game calls himself Crash, no wonder why the mustache man always wins (Bubsy reference the infamous Video Game Crash of 83, since Crash sharing the same name. Mustache Man is used to describe Mario from the popular Crash Bandicoot commercial. Super Mario was considered to be a savior of the said crash. Bubsy pokes fun at this since the Playstation One and Nintendo 64 has a console war, but Crash ends up losing) Oh you’re threatening me for calling your name stupid? Then just leave (When Naughty Dog, the company who made Crash, name the character, Crash. Universal doesn’t like the idea. Naughty Dog got pissed that they even threaten Universal to leave if they don’t agree on their decision.) Seeing your purr-sonality alone, you’re neither a good thinker nor listener (Bubsy makes a pun and disses his intelligence again) Collected all the Crystals for Cortex, but couldn’t find batteries for his sister (This is a reference to the plot of the sequel, Cortex Strikes Back where Cortex manipulates Crash to gather all the Crystals. In the beginning, Coco’s (Crash’s sister) laptop batteries are dead and Coco order her brother to get some new batteries. Basically Bubsy is dissing that while Crash can collect all 25 crystals but couldn’t find an everyday item) You’re playing your level again, so you can gather all the gems But the only box you’ll always miss, is getting next base to your girlfriend (When you break every boxes in the level you’ll receive a gem at the end of the stage. In the first Crash game, whenever you didn’t destroy any amount of boxes in a stage, a cut scene will play on how boxes you missed. Box is also a slang term for vagina, which reference to Crash’s love interest, Tawna. This also reference Tawna haven’t appear after the events of the first event, leading to Bubsy jesting about Crash Bandicoot couldn’t...Bang her before she’s gone (get it, cause she appear in Bang, a shitty party game)) ' ' Crash Bandicoot Verse: Who puts the ass in mascot? Answer, this Sonic’s Ripper Roo (mate) (Ass rhymes with mas, so there. Ripper Roo, is one of the antagonist and Cortex’s failed subject that sounds similar to Rip-off, basically Sonic’s Rip-off. Bubsy’s charaxter and speed is inspired by Sonic the Hedgehog. This lime also reference to a term used to describe Crash, Sonic’s Ass Game) Who’s not only an insult to 3D, but also a disgrace to the PS Single, too (This line reference Bubsy 3D, a terrible and infamous 3D Platformer for the Playstation 1. Crash is offended by that game’s infamy, due to he’s one of Playstation’s mascot amd the pioneer of 3D platformers. Also this the way he says PS Single is a reference to the meme “PS Triple”) Only 90’s kids regret remembering you, Bubsy got no chance at all (Only 90’s kids understand this line) Already defeated you mate as soon gamers saw the matchup for this battle (Crash Bandicoot is seen to the public as a classic and great game, meanwhile Bubsy Bobcat is view in the opposite, and I stole this line from Tony Hawk vs Wayne Gretzky, but fuck it) Bubster is a complete de-evolution of the platforming genetics (This is reference on the first Crash Bandicoot game where animals evolve their genes from the Evolve-Ray and they become smart. However Crash disses that Bubsy is a de-evolution to the platformer genre. This could be a rebottle to Bubsy’s “Coulda been smart, a leader, but you’re a bogan abusing bears”) You’re VG’s Cool Cat, but more unlikable and design so generic (Cool Cat is an infamous movie series that features a pantless cat, similar to Bubsy. But more hated and character design too bland probably dissing Bubsy’s shirt, which is just a white clothes added with a red explanory point. Also there’s a reference to VG Cats, a Canadian webcomic that satires video games, where Bubsy appear in Where are They Now) Beaten Cortex more times than you got one hit by those Woolie enemies (A criticism of the Bubsy games is that Bubsy is extremly fragile, one hit from anything you die. Woolie is a weak and basic enemy of the Bubsy series. This line is self-explanatory to be honest) For Accolade’s mascot, your only honor is putting your buisness deceased (Accolade is the company that created the Bubsy series. Accolade actually means “honor” “award” “gift” but Bubsy ironically gives the opposite to his company by leaving them bankrupt) Your number two was the only good thing your shit series provides (From all the Bubsy games, Bubsy II is considered to be the best of the series despites it’s flaws and review scores. Also there’s a pun in this line with “number two = shit”) Now that’s a compliment, but your creator says otherwise (While people praise Bubsy II for being the best out of the series. The creator of Bubsy, Michael Berlyn thinks that game is horrible to the brand name and even saying “it almost kill the franchise”) You and Ty can blow some Steam, but your relavance still haven’t call (Bubsy was re-release on Steam. Same with Ty the Tynasmin Tiger, another gaming mascot who’s also based on an Australian animal. But like the both of them, they remain forgotten while Crash is still beloved) From what I seen this pantless mate, this pussy doesn’t have any balls (Bubsy is shown to be not wearing pants, and doesn’t seem to have balls. This could be an indirect reference to a Bubsy's fan headcanon, Modern Bubsy, where Bubsy becomes a transgender woman...Also Australian stereotype with Crash saying mate) ' ' Bubsy Bobcat Verse: You act all tough in the mic, but you’re more of a scardly cat than Tiny (Bubsy thinks Crash is a pathetic character who fakes being brave and strong lyrically. Tiny is one of the antagonist Crash Bandicoot, he‘s a Tiger, which is closer to the family of cats) Without that Aku Aku slave taking the hit, it’s just one hit for you in the hiney (Aku Aku is a character from Crash, who’s also a power-up for Crash. Whenever Aku Aku is in your side, you can take another hit.) And did you steal those insults from a gamer who‘s not so grump? (Bubsy says Crash’s disses against him aren’t original and in fact, is been already used by a famous Youtuber, Jontron, who’s known for reviewing the Bubsy games) Hell, without laying a claw, I can put Youtuber’s career in a dump (In March 2017, there‘s been Youtube drama for calling JonTron a racist or Nazi for having a different opinion. Bubsy is saying that even it’s not related to him, he still can fuck his reputation indirectly) Only Warped back the classic trilogy, ‘cause you’re getting hate for your gimmicks (This line reference Crash Bandicoot Warped and the remake, N Sane Trilogy. Bubsy is saying that the only reason why Crash is returning to the clawing board is because of the negative reception) From party pooper games to phone races, all of them are panned by critics (Continue the last statement. Bubsy disses about Crash Bash, a mediocre party games to the Crash Nitro Kart in the Appstore, which didn’t do well with reviewers) Not the first the first tornado Aussie, you just check out Looney Tunes and bit it (Obligatory Taz reference in a Crash Bandicoot battle) Sorry but there’s a new spinner in town, where your hype got beaten by a fucking Fidget (Crash Bandicoot is known for spinning in his games, however Bubsy says that his spinning days are over cause in 2017, Fidget Spinners are toys that advertise to "cure" ADHD and autism which is trendier than the N. Sanity Trilogy) ' ' Crash Bandicoot Verse: The Jaguar and Bubsy show thats cats aren’t fit on gaming (This reference to one of Bubsy’s game, Fractured Furry Tales, an Atari Jaguar exclusive game. And as history shows, Jaguar failed to compete against its competitors. Since both Bubsy and Jaguar are both cats, Crash Bandicoot is being a racist bigot degenerate, saying cats shouldn’t be in video games) Forgetting passwords, faking rewards, can’t hide that shame, man (In Bubsy 3D, there is an reward for those who finds the mystery of the password, however until now, no one finds it) You got millions of fans (yea--) ironic ones, no need to get your hopes so fast (ah) (While Bubsy got a cult following, it’s more of a ironic one, meaning they’re not true fans and they just a fan of making of his series) But you better slow those legs down or you’ll be the one who’ll be named crash (Another criticism of the Bubsy games is the controls and the speed. When Bubsy run fast, the camera couldn’t focus on the right side of the screen and couldn’t indicate danger ahead leading to many deaths and “crashes”) I’m packing heat with cannons, got rap bombs like a Nitro (Wumpa cannon and Nitro boxes reference) Your rating’s the same as your friend list, none, while I got Spyro (Crash Bandicoot is saying that his reception is the same as his circle of friends, zero. Meanwhile he got his buddy Spyro, who appear as a cameo, a playable demo game, and even in a crossover game) A terrible pet owner, and apparently someone’s uncle is this pyscho (Crash reference Arnold the Armadillo, apparently Bubsy’s sidekick who’s been mistreated by Bubsy. Bubsy got a nephew and a niece, which shocked Crash that a crazy cat like Bubsy have family responsibility) How can you fly from the sky, when you couldn’t pass as a pilot (Another criticism for the Bubsy series is that Bubsy can fly (well it’s more like falling, with style) because bobcats can’t fly (yes because Echidnas fucking fly in real life). Crash is in disbelief that he has that ability, due to he failed as a pilot which reference to the pilot of a Bubsy cartoon which didn’t get pick up. And you get the picture, flying in the sky, pilot in airplane, airplane fly, but that’s bullshit cause airplane can’t fly, they crash into two building) ' ' Bubsy Bobcat Verse: You tried to take down Plumberboy, but flopped taking that title (Plumberboy is another word from the Crash Bandicoot commercial used to describe Mario. Basically, Crash Bandicoot fails to surpass Mario) Never seen Universal’s Mind failed this much since taking down the Kong Titan ' ''(Bubsy continue to jab at Crash, by saying this isn’t the first time Universal tries to take down Nintnedo, and failed it. This is a reference to the infamous case where Universal take Nintendo to court because Donkey Kong was plagrisizing their hit movie, King Kong. Also a reference to two Crash games, Mind Over Mutant and Clash of the Titan) '''Put this Naughty-Dog on a leash, where your owner leave you abandon (Naughty Dog was Crash Bandicoot’s first and original developers. Originally Universal made a deal with Naughty Dog to make three games, and that‘s the Crash Bandicoot trilogy and they added Crash Nitro Kart. Sadly after Crash Nitro Kart, Naughty Dog leaves the series and move on to other projects such as Jak & Daxter, The Last of Us and Uncharted.) As we all know, Bubsy stole the show, as if Sony put their name in this battle (To steal the show is to be the center of attention due to their performance being better than the others. Bubsy claims he win by stealing the sbow as if Sony put their name in this battle. Which reference when Crash Bandicoot was introduce to the public, it’s all in Sony Playstation’s name, but there’s no Naughty-Dog brand anywhere to be found, heck they outright don’t invite Naughty Dog employee to E3) ' ' ' ' Crash Bandicoot Verse: (Ha!) I beat him both disc and units, why don’t you ask Giana to be a better rip-off (Crash rebottles Bubsy’s line about not winning against Mario. By saying that he did surpass him, by Playstation units sold more than the Nintendo 64. Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back is actually developed by the same team who made the remake of The Great Giana Sisters. Crash says Bubsy should follow the steps of Giana if he wants to copy other’s style as the original Commodore version of Giana Sisters got postive reviews, unlike Bubsy) While you claim to be the mascots‘ rival, yet you squat at their home (crickey) (While Bubsy is meant to compete with Super Mario and Sonic the Hedgehog. His games are released on the Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo Entertainment System. Crash is saying that calling Bubsy a rival is pointless since him and his games lives the same console as the two) You’re a platformer copycat who couldn’t learn land on his feet (Usually in 2-D platformer, there’s no such thing as fall damage, however Bubsy is like “that’s fucking overrated, fall damage is the new hip thing” which is another criticism in Bubsy’s games. Copycat means an imitator, and Bubsy is literally a cat. Also Crash made an ironic statement where a cat, that’s known for landing on it’s feet upon impact from a great height, Bubsy can‘t do that) Fall damage drop as hard as I spit verse in these beats (woah!) (And Crash ends with a verse drop line) Category:Blog posts